I thought about this as I released a video today on my YouTube Channel where I talked about a certain aspect of disciplining children. Children will imitate what we do more than what we ask of them or what we tell them to do. Therefore, if this is true, does your child approve of your behavior?
I thought about this for a bit. I wondered if my child would want to follow my lead. Of course our children follow us, but often times it’s because they have no choice.
However, do they really want to follow you?
I’ve been giving parenting much thought for three years now, since my son was born, and the more I read about the subject and prayed about it, the more that I realized that parenting requires a transformation on our part.
Parenting requires that we undergo personal development because personally I do not want my son to absorb the negative attitudes and behaviors that I have. The truth is that I want my son to be better than me. I want my son to handle disappointment well and not have a grown-up tantrum where we yell, argue, reach for a drink or pick a fight with anyone that is around especially our spouse. Although they will have their moments as adults where they may give in to issues, that should not stop us from modeling positive and healthy reactions towards struggles.
Having said that, as a mom I have to evaluate my temper, my reactions and my attitude towards life.
I have to live a conscious and intentional life. Most of as parents we must invest time in getting to know our children and their way of communicating and their overall love language in order to identify what makes our children feel special and loved. If our children feel loves, secure and understood they will respond positively because their love tank is full and I learned this from reading The Five Love Languages of Children.
My personal growth is an everyday thing and although I will never be perfect, and I will not change overnight, my son will be a key witness to my transformation and will admire me all the more for my efforts in working on being a better person.
Your child should be your number one fan and follower.
Find out. Does your child want to follow your lead? Does he, she or they resent you or hold a grudge towards you?
Analyze, observe, dig deep and find out. There is always a reason why for their anger or resentment, and it is 100 percent valid.
Their feelings and opinions matter.