My journey potty training my three year old has been a God given learning experience.
I had moments where I felt guilty and moments where I felt that I was doing something wrong.
I had moments where I would compare the progress of other toddlers to my son’s progress. At times it felt as if I was competing with other moms, but I was so wrong for that because every child is different and every process will be different.
I remember when I first starting potty training that I would get frustrated and angry at my son because I felt that something was wrong with him. I would get angry when he didn’t pee in the toilet and had to clean up the mess.
I remember specifically this one time when my anger got the best of me and I screamed right at his face and repeatedly told him pee in the toilet. His reaction was heartbreaking. I cried because he seemed clueless. I mostly cried because I was trying to push and rush the process instead of allowing him to go through this new process as he felt comfortable.
My selfishness and my need to compete with other moms did’t let me be compassionate over the fact that new experiences can be scary for children. He seemed scared and I wasn’t empathetic to that fear. I feel guilty looking back, but after I noticed what I had done and I prayed about it, God showed me that every child goes through new experiences differently. God showed me that, just like adults, children face fear when facing chartered waters. Each child has their own learning curve.
God showed me that each child is entitled to their process and us parents must be supportive, empathetic and compassionate to their needs.
A child’s growth process and different phases cannot be forced nor rushed.
God doesn’t rush us. He allows us to grow at our own pace because He loves us and is merciful.
In the same way we must be compassionate and merciful with our little children who are walking into new experiences each day.
Let’s identify and recognize our child’s needs by learning how they see the world, while also learning who they are through good quality, undisturbed daily interactions.
Are you rushing your child’s processes? Can you identify when your child is fearful and do you feed that fear or do you serve as support while your child faces a scary experience?
It’s time that we recognize and accept that our child’s fears are valid. Simply because we do not fear what they fear doesn’t mean that their fear is insignificant.
In a child’s world their fear and circumstances are magnified, which makes our job as parents that much more important to help our children cope with their emotions and face such circumstances with confidence that mom and dad are their support system.