The Things People Do When They Don’t Realize They’re Being Watched – Respectful Discipline

Today I witnessed something that was extremely upsetting.
As I waited for my husband to pick up our food, I was sitting inside our car playing with my son, but a woman’s actions caught my attention. I watched a woman right outside a preschool as she was lining up children up against the wall. As this woman/teacher was having a conversation with another female beside her, she managed to grab a student by his arm and shoved him to the front of the line. This teacher physically grabbed a child by his arm as if that kind of treatment were normal. That’s shocking to me considering this happened in school grounds and teachers should not, in my opinion, lay hands on a child.

Why is it shocking to me you might ask? Not only is it wrong for a teacher to grab a child by the arm, but it’s shocking because if that kind of treatment would have been exercised with my son, she would’ve gotten a verbal and physical reaction from him.

My son would’ve been evidently angry and would’ve fought back or attempted to defend himself because he knows that it’s wrong to be treated in an aggressive manner, not because we’ve told him it’s wrong, but rather because we aren’t aggressive with him.
I realized two things about my son and the way that God has helped me raise him.
1) We treat him with respect. My son wouldn’t tolerate disrespect because we don’t treat him that way at home. Therefore…
2) Since my son knows what respect looks like, then he can automatically recognize the opposite of that. My son is able to recognize disrespect and inappropriate behavior inflicted on him because it’s not his NORM.

I thought about this incident the whole day. I thought about my son and the many children that are treated with such aggressiveness at home.
I think that what sucks the most is to have seen this child not respond at all. He didn’t fight back. He just allowed it.

Then BOOM! It hit me… To this child this form of treatment is normal because he has been wired with the subconscious notion that this form of treatment towards his body is normal and worse, it’s expected when misbehaving. This type of wiring happens at home and unfortunately, unintentionally this is what happens when we choose to spank and hit our children as punishment or as a consequence for misbehavior.

This realization led me to understand that children who become bullies or become victims of bullying are created at home. They are raised.

Bullies are created at home by parents who are bullies.

Children who are bullied, who freeze and do nothing when treated in an aggressive manner, is solely because they’re familiar with being bullied at home. So, children accept such behavior. Preschoolers do not reason the way we do. To these little kiddies, if their own parents treat them in an aggressive manner then their subconscious is built-in with a notion that it’s okay for adults to treat them like this. Most children do not have the capacity to reason and conclude that it’s okay for parents to act his way towards them, but not other adults that are in a position of authority. This idea is too complex for little minds to grasp which is why I believe wholeheartedly in respectful discipline.

Parents who are bullies are either creating a bully or are causing children to become susceptible to bullying because they have engraved fear of fighting back.

Now the question is… As a parent… Are you a bully?

Do you try to break the will of your child like bullies do?

Do you try to defeat your child and make him/her feel small?

Do you try to manipulate your children to do what you want them to do by inflicting physical pain?

Read my next article on the characteristics of a parent bully.

I realized two things about my son and the way that God has helped me raise him.
1) We treat him with respect. My son wouldn’t tolerate disrespect because we don’t treat him that way at home. Therefore…
2) Since my son knows what respect looks like, then he can automatically recognize the opposite of that. My son is able to recognize disrespect and inappropriate behavior inflicted on him because it’s not his NORM.

I thought about this incident the whole day. I thought about my son and the many children that are treated with such aggressiveness at home.
I think that what sucks the most is to have seen this child not respond at all. He didn’t fight back. He just allowed it.

Then BOOM! It hit me… To this child this form of treatment is normal because he has been wired with the subconscious notion that this form of treatment towards his body is normal and worse, it’s expected when misbehaving. This type of wiring happens at home and unfortunately, unintentionally this is what happens when we choose to spank and hit our children as punishment or as a consequence for misbehavior.

This realization led me to understand that children who become bullies or become victims of bullying are created at home. They are raised.

Bullies are created at home by parents who are bullies.

Children who are bullied, who freeze and do nothing when treated in an aggressive manner, is solely because they’re familiar with being bullied at home. So, children accept such behavior. Preschoolers do not reason the way we do. To these little kiddies, if their own parents treat them in an aggressive manner then their subconscious is built-in with a notion that it’s okay for adults to treat them like this. Most children do not have the capacity to reason and conclude that it’s okay for parents to act his way towards them, but not other adults that are in a position of authority. This idea is too complex for little minds to grasp which is why I believe wholeheartedly in respectful discipline.

Parents who are bullies are either creating a bully or are causing children to become susceptible to bullying because they have engraved fear of fighting back.

Now the question is… As a parent… Are you a bully?

Do you try to break the will of your child like bullies do?

Do you try to defeat your child and make him/her feel small?

Do you try to manipulate your children to do what you want them to do by inflicting physical pain?

Read my next article on the characteristics of a parent bully.

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Categories: Christianity, Parenting

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