Lately I have approached young men to make conversation and ask them about their love lives. I have been curious to find out how they view commitment and their perception of women in our world today.
Sadly, I have noticed a similar pattern.
The guys that I have randomly approached have different backgrounds and different lifestyles, but they all had similar things to say with regards to women. Like….
- You can’t tell the difference between a good girl and a h**
- Nowadays most women and young girls dress up to show off their goods yet demand respect when men look, so why do they dress half-naked & call our attention
- Women live pure contradictions like not wanting men to only use them for sex yet their image sends all the wrong signals
- They way women dress and the way they act is like they’re practically asking to smashed & laid
- There is no such thing as women who wants real love. What they really want is a dude with money and a nice ride
- Girls want to milk you for all you got and then move on to the next one
- Women only want men who look good to make them look good
- All that women want to do is party and chill with their friends, go clubbing
- Women like to live the fast life
After speaking to many different guys and hearing similar statements, I was really saddened by the feedback that I received about how WE are being viewed.
WE women are at fault for how men see us.
I had to admit to myself that I too, at one point, have referred to men as being a bank. It’s true that we may be a bit too materialistic especially now, when appearance, fashion and beauty are at the top of our priorities.
I admit that some of us may dress, practically in the nude, to turn heads not caring whether or not we are calling the attention of married men or teenagers struggling with porn addiction.
I admit that some of us do speak with foul language and we do or have engaged in pornographic sex talk even in front of our little ones.
I remember that, through my early twenties, I was really promiscuous, I dressed super revealing just because I wanted attention and admiration. I was naive in thinking that love at first sight would manifest itself in my life, based on my looks. All that time I appeared confident on the surface, but on the inside I was an insecure mess. I based my beauty on what I would wear, how I did my makeup and how I styled my hair. I remember that during that period of time in my life, I spoke of sex in front of guys as if it were a sport. To the outside world my words were indicators that I was this careless party that did not care much for commitment. Yet, all I yearned for on the inside was to be loved and to find that one special person.
I was sending all the wrong signals and I realized that this is exactly what is happening with our women today.
This may be the case for many of the young women and young girls that these males are encountering.
It’s time that we flip the script and choose to change and be transformed on the inside.
We need to heal from our past pain. We need to heal from the negative words that have been spoken over our lives, that have left us with deep insecurities.
We need to turn to our number one healer, Jesus Christ.
In him we can find our true identity and the core essence of who we are called to be.
We are called to be respectful, honorable and gentle women. We have been called to respect our bodies and be wise with the words that we speak. We must respect ourselves for men to respect us.
We set the standards for how we want to be treated, but we cannot continue demanding respect when we come out of the house dressed like we work at a strip club.
Our little girls are watching us. Our little boys are watching in us mothers how women should be and we set the standard for what they need to look for.
Let’s build a new generation of women that are worthy of honor and praise. A generation of women that feel beautiful not because of what they see in the mirror, but rather because of the transformation that is taking place in their heart, through the word of God.
Change starts with you, how you decide to speak, dress and welcome others.
Thank you for reading.
God bless you!