Being married isn’t easy, but deep in my heart I know that the struggles are worth it.
I wanted to share certain truths about how I’ve felt in my marriage because I know that many of you may go through the same things, but silence can easily eat you alive. Or worse, it can lead you to cheat, to lust over other men and to become bitter.
I’m a stay at home mom and that alone sounds unproductive. When people think of stay at home moms, they think of the “at home” part and automatically picture a woman lying in bed watching Netflix all day. That’s far from reality. The reality is that we stay at home moms work more while being at home than working at an office. We don’t have any days off, any breaks and we never get to clock out.
This whole “stay at home mom” thing has been an issue in my marriage. Like many men, my husband thought that me staying home meant me relaxing and sleeping all day. So, I’ve tried so many times to show him all the hard work that I do around the apartment, in addition to going to school, taking care of our son Nathan and now Nina, and having worked a part-time at home, but he has never seemed to believe that I too work hard. He as always made it known through his harsh sarcasm and indirect jokes. All of which hurt me.
I’ve CRIED so many times because all I’ve wanted is for my husband to admire me and value the fact that I want to raise my children and not hand them off to a random purpose at a daycare. So often, my husband makes me feel like raising children isn’t significant work. I’ve CRIED, because he makes me feel invisible. I’ve CRIED because being a stay at home mom is part of who I am right now and since he rejects that part of me, it feels like he’s rejecting me as a whole.
“Some men place higher value in wives that work and make money than in those that choose to raise their children at home”
We all desire admiration especially from our husbands. We want to be valued and praised for our hard work, but the truth is that we will go unnoticed by the people closest to us.
“By serving your husband and your children you are serving the Lord. It is a form of worship. Remember that your family is your first ministry”
If you feel unappreciated at this season in your life, I’m here to tell you that when no one sees all the hard work that you do, God sees it all. You are loved and admired by our heavenly Father. God sees your tears, your hurt and pain. God sees your heart and he knows your desires, all too well. Woman, if you’re reading this is because God wants you to know that your pain isn’t in vain. Everything in life is a process and out of a hard process comes a great purpose. Maybe at this season in your life your issue is related to feeling underappreciated like me, but I know that I know that God isn’t done with my husband and neither is he done with my marriage. Therefore, know that he isn’t done with you either.
“Everything in life is a process and every process has its purpose“
Everyone wants the exceptional husband and the great marriage, but we fail to see that for anything to grow and evolve it requires a process. If we want that wonderful marriage, unfortunately or fortunately, there will be a process and in that process we will experience pain. Pain and hurt are inevitable.
“Marriage is the foundation of a family”
I encourage you to decide to do things differently as of today.
Know your worth. Ask God to show you the beautiful person that you are inside. Know that you are valuable.
In my case, I’ve decided to see my husband through the eyes of mercy. I’ve decided to love by forgiving. I’ve decided to accept that we are all flawed and that we all make mistakes. Choose to see the blessing it is, to have your husband by your side. our husbands might not be perfect, but they do have good qualities, so let’s choose to see them and remind ourselves of them.
“DARE to Love like God LOVES”
KNOW that God is working in all of us who have called onto Him as Lord and Savior. Know your worth. Know that you are valuable to the King. Know that your work is meaningful.
“As a stay at home moms we are raising the next generation of soldiers for Christ”
The journey isn’t over yet. God has more in store for you and your marriage. Even though this chapter in your life may consist of marital hardships, know that God is still writing your story and you will have your happy ending in Jesus name, Amen.
You’re not alone sister!
God bless you and thank you for reading.
Follow me on Instagram 🙂