On day 3, 4 & 5 of The Love Dare I’ve discovered several key things about my marriage.
Prior to this dare I used to think that I was committed to my marriage. I thought that I was 100 percent committed to making my marriage work, but it turns out that I wasn’t. Every time that I let my husband get to me I found it was an excuse for me to respond with attitude. I found that each time my husband says something that either annoys me or hurts me I would use that moment as an excuse to be rude and to unleash my anger.
I noticed that often times I want to be mad at him. I want him to take responsibility for hurting my feelings. Obviously we all want to hear an apology when we’re hurt, am I right?
But I found that what I was really doing was unconsciously putting myself on victim mode and what God revealed to me was shocking.
God revealed to me the following:
Since, I was abused as a child (my story on YouTube) by a close friend of the family, when we confronted him, although he apologized, I sensed it wasn’t a sincere apology.
Even though I forgave him, a hidden part of me deep in my soul wanted a real apology and since that unknown need was never fulfilled, NOW, in my present, and more specifically in my marriage, I subconsciously sabotage my relationship with my husband seeking for a sincere apologies. Mind blowing!
It’s funny because no matter how many sincere apologies I have received from my husband, it was and has never been enough. Now I know why!
As I think about this revelation I’m joyful because now I’m aware of my sabotage, what’s scary is that we all have hidden and unknown sabotaging schemes due to our past unresolved issues.
I’m thankful because now on day 5 of The Love Dare as we celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary I can honestly say that I see my husband with different eyes. That little girl deep inside of me no longer needs that apology. I feel lighter, liberated and free from that subconscious stronghold.
Today, on this beautiful sunny, Sunday morning, I can’t help but feel thankful and joyful because I know that I know that this new-found revelation will shift my marriage in a different direction.
I hope that you can join me on this journey as we dare to love.
Thank you for reading and lets see what other discoveries/revelations lie ahead on this journey as I dare to love!
No more broken homes