Parents shape us. Parents create our home environment; they set the standards. They set the mood. And unfortunately, in my case my parents weren’t in agreement on the lifestyle and culture that they wanted to create in our home.
Home is everything for a child.
When children live in a broken home, they adopt that broken image as their own. The brokenness automatically becomes part of their identity, creating insecurities.
Chapter Two: Home
In chapter two of my book, “A New Breed of Women,” I share one episode of my childhood. And that was only one from many other incidents just like it.
My father was an alcoholic and dealt with anger issues so, every time that he would drink, he ended the evening with a violent outrage. It was painful to see his outbursts and it was even more hurtful to witness my mom receive the lashing of all his insults.
Like me many of you haven’t had peaceful upbringings. You may have witnessed violence, drug use, alcoholism or abuse of different kinds. And what ends up happening is that we never deal with the pain that those memories carry, or we decide to block them out completely.
I’m here to tell you that to have a better present and a healthy future, you must deal with what us at the root of whom you are. New seeds need to be planted for you to give good fruit. The old must be put to death and the new must come to life, and flourish.
Choose to deal with your daddy issues today. Speak to that little girl that you once were. Go back in time and write about the childhood experiences, especially those experienced that made an negative mark in your life, since it was in those moments that you gave birth to rage, anger and resentment.
A Letter to Myself.
There was a time when I wrote a letter to that little girl that I once was. I remember the moment that I wrote the letter because I held one image in mind, and that was me sitting in a corner next to a dresser crying and pleading God for a different life. That image was so clear and I remembered how alone I felt. I held that image in my mind as I wrote a letter to little old me. This letter was extremely helpful because I was able to comfort that little girl that still lived inside me. I was able to tell her all the things that I wanted to hear then. And the upon finishing that letter to myself, I felt a release, a relief; I was free to forgive.
I encourage you to write that letter to that little girl that still lives in you; that lives in your memories.
We are not free until we can visit our past and be at peace with it
Release yourself from all the strongholds from the past. Get alone with God and read His scripture. Ask Him to show you which way you should go and he will surely put a thought in your mind of an episode that made an impact in your life. Take yourself to that memory and as you relive it, surrender the pain onto God. He will heal you.
Choose to forgive.
You can’t be free unless you release the anger, resentment or frustration connected to hurtful episodes in your past.
Be free. Free to love and experience real joy. There is hope in Jesus.
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Read about Chapter One on my previous blog post.