Our sex journey begins the moment we identify the differences between the male and the female body. As children, our body parts become this secretive subject that we never speak about. And that’s when curiosity takes over.
Personally, no one ever spoke to me about my private parts nor did I ever have the sex talk. And the fact that I endured sexual abuse at a really young age only made matters worse. I remember little old me staring at the mirror and analyzing myself, not being able to shake off the feeling of awkwardness.
There was also this cloud of shame and guilt that were tied to anything related to the topic of sex and body image, and I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it go away. My view on sexual embrace was negative and as a teenager, it complicated things because I felt pressured. And as we all know, sex is expected in boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. So, I had to give in, right? Or so I thought.
I believed the LIE that I had to have sex if I wanted a boyfriend
Sex took a new meaning when I became a young adult. The act itself became so normal that it was meaningless.
The world teaches us this:
Date around. Have boyfriend. Have sex. Make the relationship work. And if it doesn’t, move onto the next one. Repeat the cycle until you find your ONE.
Only to find out that by the time you find “the” guy, you’ve already slept around with over 5 guys or more.
A Shift in Perspective
When I began to follow my faith as a Christian, I learned a lot about sex. Two truths transformed my perspective and helped me view sex through a healthy and pure lens.
- God created sex to be the consummation of love between a man and a woman in a marriage.
- Genesis 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” God never meant sex and our bodies to be a source of shame. God designed sex for us to enjoy with our spouse because He knew what we, as human beings, choose to ignore— when we have sex with multiple sex partners we become desensitized by sex, sex becomes meaningless, we become frigid, selfish and we fall into the comparison trap. These bullies rob us of the beauty, pureness and wonder that sex can truly be.
The problem with our society is that it’s full of depravity. Sex has taken the form of promiscuity, porn and sexualization of everything around us.
Why is this topic important?
There are many young girls walking around believing that they need to have sex. There is a cultural pressure to engage in sex. And those are the same girls that are walking around with negative views on sex and they go into marriage where many issues are developed surrounding the topic of sex. For males, we live in a culture where being a man is measured by how many sexual encounters a man has. This is a lie that all of our young boys believe.
Time to Educate & be Educated
Our families and our children need to adopt healthy perspectives on sex. This requires conversations. We need to talk about it more.
It’s time to educate ourselves through the word of God. We need to do our own research and understand God’s design for sex. We need to spend time in retrospect and dig for the hidden and buried views that we have about sex.
Go back to when you were a child and first experienced curiosity about your body. Travel back in time when you first discovered what sex was. Write down what you thought and what you witnessed because those first ideas and images, relating to sex and one’s body, marked your overall beliefs and perspectives on the topic.
It’s important that we help our children learn about their bodies in a shame free environment. We need to affirm them in that they are beautiful, that their bodies are a temple, and should be guarded. Let’s make their first discoveries about sex pleasant and link them to positive notions. Because it’s time to raise a generation that won’t spend their time recovering, but rather thriving.
Let’s set the best example and work towards change.
Together we can cause a shift in this generation by raising a new breed of kids. It starts with us. Women, we need to change the game. We need to stop being so accessible. We need to surrender to God. It’s time to view sex through a clean lens.
It’s time to become, “A New Breed of Women.”
Read more about sex and how we are desensitizing children.