A night club was like a playground of freedom, where I did what I wanted without regard for the eyes that surrounded me. Opinions didn’t matter, work didn’t matter. The sadness and loneliness that were always so vividly present, became distant as the euphoric spirits took over me. The lights would flash, ever so brightly. The world transformed as my mind dove into a kaleidoscope filled with striking colors and I, becoming one with the music, was free.
Looking back, I feel like such a fool, but it was my truth at the time. I truly felt free being under the influence of drugs and alcohol. It was all an illusion, an illusion that felt so real, that consumed me.
I had always heard that Jesus came to set the captives free, but I didn’t know that it was possible until He did it for me.
My journey with Christ began when I accepted an invitation to attend church. At the time, church seemed like an inconvenience because I didn’t want to let go of my lifestyle. Let’s be honest, vodka on the rocks was way faster at relieving me from any negative emotions than a prayer session. But deep inside I knew one thing, that I wanted nothing more than my life to take a different direction than where it was headed. I didn’t want to depend on a drink, a cigarette or a blunt to make me feel free. I wanted to experience true freedom. I wanted to experience real joy and most importantly, I wanted to be happy on my own and not depending a man to make me feel happy.
Nine years later, and all those prayer sessions have been worth it. All the struggles and tough decisions have been worth it. The moment I surrendered my life to God it has been a lifestyle of surrendering daily. And now at age 30, I can honestly say that Jesus is my number one. I don’t depend on drinks or drugs to come to the rescue in tough moments. I don’t depend on my husband or my children to make me feel happy, I’m joyful on my own.
I’m truly free. I learned that true freedom is found in not depending things or people to put a smile on your face. At this time in my life, I’ve learned that we are never in control of anything except how we respond to life and others.
To experience freedom, we can’t be attached to anything that isn’t God’s voice and His promises for our life.
God can set you free.
Make a daily to surrender to him. Just have a conversation with God. Ask him questions. Talk to Him quietly in your mind. God will show up.
God will speak to you through signs, through people and nature. Listen and be attentive. You can encounter Him too if you are willing to surrender.
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