There’s Power in Speaking Truth

Writing a memoir isn’t easy.

To expose your life on the raw and in an unmanicured way puts you in a vulnerable place.

I’ve learned to be completely honest about who I am for two reasons.

  1. I’m here to testify what God has done in my life.
  2. I know that many women and young girls are able to identify with some of the things that I’ve been through. So, since my process towards healing and overcoming obstacles can help, I speak.

There’s power in being open. There’s power in being real. My struggle can help you have courage. My solution may be your solution too.

When we speak and choose to bring things to the light, it no longer has the power to haunt us.

When we share our stories,

We build a support system that can keep us walking on this journey called life. It gives us hope. It gives us a glimpse of what’s possible.

A New Breed of Women

It’s time to speak. Time to share our internal battles. We aren’t alone. We have each other.

Here’s my story.

Advertisements

Am I spoiling my child?

It was 9 p.m. at night when my son asked his daddy to play with him. So, my husband began to hookup the Wii, but then noticed that it wasn’t working properly.

After spending 30 minutes trying to make the Wii work, he got frustrated and told our son his favorite words…

“Forget it let’s go to Target and I’ll buy you the Nintendo Switch

As I heard this, I had mixed feelings:

  1. I was happy that my son was going to get the Nintendo Switch, which he had been asking for especially when he’s enjoyed playing it at his cousin’s house.
  2. I didn’t want my husband to buy him the Switch because I knew that by doing so, we are spoiling our sense and wiring him with a sense of entitlement.

“It feels great when our children ask us for something that we know we can give them. I’m sure God feels the same way, but he doesn’t shower us with blessings that we can’t handle. Same goes for children.”

I understood three things on this evening.

  1. Overindulging my son with toys will not only spoil him, but will not allow him to appreciate what he has. Read whether or not your kids need a variety of toys.
  2. Giving him to a lot of toys won’t necessarily keep him busy.
  3. Instead of being appreciative over what he has he is becoming entitled.

Scarcity is a good thing and so is boredom. 

As stay at home mom, I feel responsible for keeping him busy and entertained most of the day, which is why allowing him to possess a load of toys seems like the right choice so that he won’t be bored. This is a lie that we believe. 

“I remember being a little girl and having a handful of Barbie’s and dolls, that I would play with over and over again. I never felt the need to have more because I had what I needed to keep me entertained. Sure, I wanted more, but I never asked for toys unless I was asked.

If we want to raise children that are grateful for what they have, we must eliminate massive toy buying and make sure that the toys that we do buy, breed creativity, requires imagination and encourages pretend play.

I’m determined to clean my son’s room, get rid of many of his toys and make sure to rearrange his room. I will share the before and after pictures of his room very soon 🙂 Join me as I clean house and work on unspoiling my child.

 

The Love Dare: Days 9, 10 & 11: Fail

It’s funny how every time that I plan to do something nice for my spouse, intentionally plan on being extra sweet, giving more kisses or greeting him with enthusiasm, it all just goes down the drain.

The Love Dare has a been a huge blessing because it has really forced me to be intentional and has given me suggestions of what being intentional looks like on a daily basis. I like that I can follow this plan, but the more I follow it the more I feel like there is so much that I have to work on, and it’s only the beginning.

Day 9, 10 and 11 have been a complete fail for me because although I try to be intentionally kind, the minute that I feel let down or I feel frustrated by my husband’s actions, the whole kindness intention goes out the window.

I mean, am I the only person that goes through this?

I’ve realized that the minute I feel mad at my husband for the dumbest thing it throws me off and I can no longer go back to being intentionally kind. I hold grudges, I’m extremely resentful and truthfully, if I disregard the frustration caused by my spouse, and get back on this whole love dare plan, I feel completely bipolar.

How do you get over things quickly without feeling completely bipolar?

I found the answer. The key is being merciful. Having mercy is not being bi-polar, although it may feel like it during a heated moment. I recognize that just like him, I also make many mistakes and half the time I never apologize for them.

And then I experienced an Aha moment on Day 11

When you mistreat your spouse you’re actually mistreating yourself. When you curse your spouse you’re actually cursing yourself. Genesis 2:23 confirms that this is true.

“Bone of my Bones”

When we decide to come together and marry our husbands, we become one with them.

To love him is to love myself. To extend kindess to him it’s like doing so to myself.

We really have to think of ourselves as one with our husbands. This can totally change the way we react to them, the way we respond, what we do and how we go about dealing with marital problems. Team of one.

20180227_003110_00011047839995.png

Read The Love Dare: Days 6, 7, & 8.

Sex Culture: Desensitizing Children

The other day while I was on YouTube I watched an interview between a psychologist and a sex-trafficker and what he said was mind blowing to me.

Sex Trafficker said:

“Society is doing the grooming for us. Too many girls are walking around with low self-esteem and they are already portraying themselves as sex symbols. It’s too easy”

It’s true. We are living in the midst of a culture where everything is over sexualized.

“Global grooming is taking place”

  • Children are being raised in broken homes which brings about identity and security issues.
  • Little girls are being dressed with clothing that they should not be wearing.
  • Moms are not being an example of dignity and modesty. It’s quite the opposite.
  • Single moms parade their different relationships in front of her kids not realizing that she is setting the wrong example for her little children.

Not enough fathers take their role seriously. They don’t realize that to little girls their daddy’s words are life. If daddy is present and speaks words of life onto his daughter that daughter will grow to have massive confidence and won’t need to find it in other men. If daddy values his daughter, that little girl will not grow up to be this desperate young girl seeking attention from men.

I’ve realized that many women will read this and not care. Not every woman cares about their children or the next generation as they say they do.

Not many moms care about what their daughters future’s looks like at the hands of different men. Not many people think about the consequences of promiscuity and what such example can cause to the next generation.

Many women are self-fish. Many women choose to fulfill their own sexual desires and in the process they end up parading different of men in front of her kids. These types of women don’t care about setting the right example for their daughters and young boys. Children are being exposed to sex at an earlier age through subliminal porn found at home, in social media as well as in our world around us. Game apps have pop-ups of cartoon women dressed half-naked and this is being flaunted to our children 24/7.

We must raise a generation of respectful young ladies and gentlemen.

We must change and be different.

We need to bring chivalry back, but that starts with us, WOMEN.

Watch “Sex culture” on YouTube

Three Reasons why we live in a sex culture?

  1. Parents are not raising confident children. There is not enough affirmation at home. When children don’t get the affirmation, attention and acceptance that they need from their parents, they grow up thirsting and seeking for these deficits later in life through others. Thus, leaving little girls with a nagging need to be noticed and desired.
  2. Women who have deep insecurity issues feel a strong need to dress provocatively because they need stares to be validated even if that means dressing half naked. For these women, their source of confidence is found in the opinion of others.
  3. Fashion and the artist wearing nude fashion are completely influential to women worldwide. Women who are insecure and have identity issues fall into this trap easily. Everyone wants to fit in so they imitate what they see. This is especially true when women have a lack of identity. They imitate and adopt other images because it’s easier than discovering themselves.

I believe that it’s time for a mind shift.

I believe that we need to raise a generation of children that are confident, but in order to do this we must change ourselves first. We must change our parenting style. We must change the way we speak to our children. We must spend quality time with our kiddos and make sure that we always take each opportunity to speak life into them.

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit”

It’s time that us women become mindful that we have insecurities and that we must work on them. It’s time that we cause a shift in our present sexually saturated culture.

Our little girls are watching. Our little girls are imitating us. It’s time that we reflect modesty, honor and self-respect, through the things we say, the things we say, and what we wear.

The clothes we choose say a lot about what we want to gain and what we want to communicate to others.

Do you want to be admired or desired?

The greatest issue that I see is that the majority of women want to be desired not admired. Women don’t dress to impress, they dress to request.

A shift has to take place. We owe it to our little girls and boys.

The Love Dare: Days 6, 7 & 8

Throughout The Love Dare challenge I’ve learned the importance of being intentional.

I’ve learned that each day we must:

  • Hug and kiss plenty
  • Forgive quickly
  • Laugh each chance that we get

I’ve also learned that there is great value and effectiveness in tackling one character flaw at a time.

“We must accept who we are and who we are not”

Marriage

To dare and love someone you must really focus on getting to know yourself, letting go of your selfish ways, and learn to extend kindness through gentle words and physical affection.

Love isn’t easy but when loving someone becomes intentional, it’s that much more fulfilling and enjoyable. Being intentionally kind, leads to affection, which breeds selfless acts which leads to love.

When you’re intentional you evolve, you grow as an individual and you tap into real love. It all starts with a decision and the feelings & emotions will follow, not the other way around.

Read The Love Dare: Days 3, 4, & 5.

“We need to change and be kind women with zero expectations”

Watch “A prayer for wisdom, our children and our home” on YouTube

Our children adopt our image and because they do we are responsible for reflecting an honorable image.

Excerpt from my book (coming soon):

“our children adopt our image”

Many parents want their kids to be honest, but yet they lie right in front them.

Many parents want their children to be respectful yet they are disrespectful to others.

Our children our always watching us and we need to model what we desire to see in them.

We need to pray so that God may show us those negative character flaws that we are unaware of.

“We need to project what we wish to see in our children”

We need to pray and ask God to renew our minds daily.

Mommies, we need to become the new breed of women that are prayerful and that love our families enough to change and allow ourselves to be transformed by God.

We need to surrender our weaknesses and flaws over to God so that He may glorify Himself in us.

How do we surrender?

  1. By accepting our wrongs and asking God for guidance & wisdom.
  2. By choosing to do things differently everyday.