Sex Culture: Desensitizing Children

The other day while I was on YouTube I watched an interview between a psychologist and a sex-trafficker and what he said was mind blowing to me.

Sex Trafficker said:

“Society is doing the grooming for us. Too many girls are walking around with low self-esteem and they are already portraying themselves as sex symbols. It’s too easy”

It’s true. We are living in the midst of a culture where everything is over sexualized.

“Global grooming is taking place”

  • Children are being raised in broken homes which brings about identity and security issues.
  • Little girls are being dressed with clothing that they should not be wearing.
  • Moms are not being an example of dignity and modesty. It’s quite the opposite.
  • Single moms parade their different relationships in front of her kids not realizing that she is setting the wrong example for her little children.

Not enough fathers take their role seriously. They don’t realize that to little girls their daddy’s words are life. If daddy is present and speaks words of life onto his daughter that daughter will grow to have massive confidence and won’t need to find it in other men. If daddy values his daughter, that little girl will not grow up to be this desperate young girl seeking attention from men.

I’ve realized that many women will read this and not care. Not every woman cares about their children or the next generation as they say they do.

Not many moms care about what their daughters future’s looks like at the hands of different men. Not many people think about the consequences of promiscuity and what such example can cause to the next generation.

Many women are self-fish. Many women choose to fulfill their own sexual desires and in the process they end up parading different of men in front of her kids. These types of women don’t care about setting the right example for their daughters and young boys. Children are being exposed to sex at an earlier age through subliminal porn found at home, in social media as well as in our world around us. Game apps have pop-ups of cartoon women dressed half-naked and this is being flaunted to our children 24/7.

We must raise a generation of respectful young ladies and gentlemen.

We must change and be different.

We need to bring chivalry back, but that starts with us, WOMEN.

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Watch “Sex culture” on YouTube

Three Reasons why we live in a sex culture?

  1. Parents are not raising confident children. There is not enough affirmation at home. When children don’t get the affirmation, attention and acceptance that they need from their parents, they grow up thirsting and seeking for these deficits later in life through others. Thus, leaving little girls with a nagging need to be noticed and desired.
  2. Women who have deep insecurity issues feel a strong need to dress provocatively because they need stares to be validated even if that means dressing half naked. For these women, their source of confidence is found in the opinion of others.
  3. Fashion and the artist wearing nude fashion are completely influential to women worldwide. Women who are insecure and have identity issues fall into this trap easily. Everyone wants to fit in so they imitate what they see. This is especially true when women have a lack of identity. They imitate and adopt other images because it’s easier than discovering themselves.

I believe that it’s time for a mind shift.

I believe that we need to raise a generation of children that are confident, but in order to do this we must change ourselves first. We must change our parenting style. We must change the way we speak to our children. We must spend quality time with our kiddos and make sure that we always take each opportunity to speak life into them.

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit”

It’s time that us women become mindful that we have insecurities and that we must work on them. It’s time that we cause a shift in our present sexually saturated culture.

Our little girls are watching. Our little girls are imitating us. It’s time that we reflect modesty, honor and self-respect, through the things we say, the things we say, and what we wear.

The clothes we choose say a lot about what we want to gain and what we want to communicate to others.

Do you want to be admired or desired?

The greatest issue that I see is that the majority of women want to be desired not admired. Women don’t dress to impress, they dress to request.

A shift has to take place. We owe it to our little girls and boys.

The Love Dare: Days 6, 7 & 8

Throughout The Love Dare challenge I’ve learned the importance of being intentional.

I’ve learned that each day we must:

  • Hug and kiss plenty
  • Forgive quickly
  • Laugh each chance that we get

I’ve also learned that there is great value and effectiveness in tackling one character flaw at a time.

“We must accept who we are and who we are not”

Marriage

To dare and love someone you must really focus on getting to know yourself, letting go of your selfish ways, and learn to extend kindness through gentle words and physical affection.

Love isn’t easy but when loving someone becomes intentional, it’s that much more fulfilling and enjoyable. Being intentionally kind, leads to affection, which breeds selfless acts which leads to love.

When you’re intentional you evolve, you grow as an individual and you tap into real love. It all starts with a decision and the feelings & emotions will follow, not the other way around.

Read The Love Dare: Days 3, 4, & 5.

“We need to change and be kind women with zero expectations”

Watch “A prayer for wisdom, our children and our home” on YouTube

Our children adopt our image and because they do we are responsible for reflecting an honorable image.

Excerpt from my book (coming soon):

“our children adopt our image”

Many parents want their kids to be honest, but yet they lie right in front them.

Many parents want their children to be respectful yet they are disrespectful to others.

Our children our always watching us and we need to model what we desire to see in them.

We need to pray so that God may show us those negative character flaws that we are unaware of.

“We need to project what we wish to see in our children”

We need to pray and ask God to renew our minds daily.

Mommies, we need to become the new breed of women that are prayerful and that love our families enough to change and allow ourselves to be transformed by God.

We need to surrender our weaknesses and flaws over to God so that He may glorify Himself in us.

How do we surrender?

  1. By accepting our wrongs and asking God for guidance & wisdom.
  2. By choosing to do things differently everyday.

My 30 Day Coffee Fast

In January, I decided to fast the one thing that I crave most daily which is… COFFEE!

I usually have two cups of coffee a day, but sometimes I do get carried away and may have three or four. Prior to my fasting I didn’t understand why I crave coffee so much.

I realized that every time that I get anxious, bored or lonely I go to the kitchen and make myself some coffee. So, during my fast each time I got a little anxious, worried or lonely, I prayed and turned to God for comfort.

“You’d be surprised what we do or what we turn to in our moments of weakness and need”

This sounds ridiculous, but It’s true. This is similar to emotional eating and I ask myself, “how many of you are walking around feeling, lonely, anxious and stress and turn to other things that aren’t God for comfort?”

  • Are you turning to food for comfort?
  • Do you smoke to keep calm?
  • Do you drink to escape your reality?
  • Do you have sex with different guys when you’re feeling lonely?

If you find yourself trying to soothe yourself with other things that aren’t God-centered, then…

  • You will never fully, satiate your hunger for love
  • You will not feel complete comfort
  • You won’t find complete peace

“God’s word, God’s presence, God’s voice, God’s direction are the only things that can fulfill your every need”

Next time that you find yourself searching for solutions to your emotional issues that are not founded in God, surrender. When you surrender to God, you find freedom.

The best way to experience and encounter God is through fasting the thing that is hard for you to give up.

  1. Pray
  2. Read God’s word
  3. Listen to a preaching
  4. Read a God centered book
  5. Listen to worship music (or in my case Christian rap)
  6. Write your thoughts and emotional processes

The Love Dare: Days 3, 4 & 5

On day 3, 4 & 5 of The Love Dare I’ve discovered several key things about my marriage.

Prior to this dare I used to think that I was committed to my marriage. I thought that I was 100 percent committed to making my marriage work, but it turns out that I wasn’t. Every time that I let my husband get to me I found it was an excuse for me to respond with attitude. I found that each time my husband says something that either annoys me or hurts me I would use that moment as an excuse to be rude and to unleash my anger.

I noticed that often times I want to be mad at him. I want him to take responsibility for hurting my feelings. Obviously we all want to hear an apology when we’re hurt, am I right?

But I found that what I was really doing was unconsciously putting myself on victim mode and what God revealed to me was shocking.

God revealed to me the following:
Since, I was abused as a child (my story on YouTube) by a close friend of the family, when we confronted him, although he apologized, I sensed it wasn’t a sincere apology.

Even though I forgave him, a hidden part of me deep in my soul wanted a real apology and since that unknown need was never fulfilled, NOW, in my present, and more specifically in my marriage, I subconsciously sabotage my relationship with my husband seeking for a sincere apologies. Mind blowing!

It’s funny because no matter how many sincere apologies I have received from my husband, it was and has never been enough. Now I know why!

As I think about this revelation I’m joyful because now I’m aware of my sabotage, what’s scary is that we all have hidden and unknown sabotaging schemes due to our past unresolved issues.

I’m thankful because now on day 5 of The Love Dare as we celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary I can honestly say that I see my husband with different eyes. That little girl deep inside of me no longer needs that apology. I feel lighter, liberated and free from that subconscious stronghold.

Today, on this beautiful sunny, Sunday morning, I can’t help but feel thankful and joyful because I know that I know that this new-found revelation will shift my marriage in a different direction.

I hope that you can join me on this journey as we dare to love.

Thank you for reading and lets see what other discoveries/revelations lie ahead on this journey as I dare to love!

Maritza

No more broken homes

Watch “Short prayer for youth” on YouTube

This prayer is for my young people.

We are living in times where the world is extremely attractive. Doing drugs or going out to drink with your friends may be fun and all, but I want you to know, that what you’re really doing is trying to fill a void.

Every time you reach for a drink or take a hit, what you’re really doing is escaping from the moment, when you should be living in the moment.

I’ve been there. I’ve done that.

There were nights where I just kept drinking and smoking so intensely just because I wanted to be numb.

Later in life as I built a relationship with God, He showed me that my soul needed numbing at that time because I was holding onto so much repressed pain that I wasn’t even aware of.

It’s time to make a change. It’s time to deal with our pain. Pray and ask God what are those hidden pains that you have not yet seen and need healing from.

Ask God to bring to light the inner struggles that are causing you to seek for that drink, that blunt, that hit etc…

It’s time for a new generation to walk against the current of people with addictions and deep brokenness.

We need healing. We need a healthy mind and heart.

We need to raise a generation of kids that don’t spend their adulthood recovering, but rather a generation of adults that are constantly conquering and executing dreams.

It’s time to pray.

The Love Dare: Day 2

Day 2 of The Love Dare was not as bad as yesterday, but it was not all that great either. I know I could’ve put more effort on my part.

Here’s how today went…

It was 9 a.m. and my husband had already dropped off our son at school. He came back home, picked me so that we could drop off Nina at my sister’s house.

I thought to myself, “yay I get to spend time with my hubby!” As soon as we dropped her off he asked if I wanted to go have breakfast with him and of course I accepted. As we ordered our meals and I drank my cup of coffee, I made sure to kiss him and hugged him tons, which is something I don’t normally do often. The meal was delish, but our conversation wasn’t. It’s always me the one doing all the talking and I feel as if I’m conversing by myself. So, that bummed me out a little, but no biggie.

So, today’s dare was to be kind. I kept extending kindess through hugs and physically beloving, but when I should’ve extended that kindness, I didn’t. We got home, my hubby wanted to lie down and of course I didn’t want to because I really don’t like lying down when I know I have so many house chores to get done.

He wanted more physical contact and I simply didn’t want any. I didn’t notice then, but I pushed him away. I rejected him, and I realized today that I do this a lot.

Through this dare I was reminded that to be kind is to be agreeable. To be kind it to be willing and give in. I realized that I need to be more intentional with my actions towards my husband.

Today’s dare was a reminder that the level of kindness expressed daily should be motivated by a desire to build a marriage that will last. It was a reminder that to be kind goes beyond emotions and feelings. To be kind is a daily decision and it’s hard when you go around holding grudges. Kindness is all about being forgiving.

Dare to love again

I hope that this can serve as a reminder that we must be kind to our spouse’s. Sometimes kindness is all we need.

Marriage isn’t easy, but it can teach us a lot about ourselves when we seek for help, for support and when we accept the things that we have to change. This world needs more solid marriages and families, and less broken homes.

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Our kids deserve to grow up in a happy and loving home

Let’s get to work. Let’s dare to love.

Thank you for reading. God bless you!

Maritza

The Love Dare: Day 1

Today was my first day of The Love Dare and it went horrible! I blew it!

I discovered that I have a lot of work to do.
As you can see below, I took the Love Dare Test and the score was so low: 401 out of 1,000. I feel like the worse wife of life. It’s incredible that you may think you’re great and then you find out that your flaws are beyond what you imagined.

 (By the way I HIGHLY encourage YOU to take the love dare test. You will be surprised!) As a matter of fact, it’s best if both you and your spouse can take it at the same time.

So, DAY 1 of The Love Dare, the Dare was to be patient and the first thing that I did was be impatient. I feel like such an idiot! But, it was only my first day so I pray and hope that as the days go by I only get better and better.

I’m going to be 100% honest.

Here it goes…

After I took the test I saw the results and it clearly reflected that I am selfish and have zero acceptance towards my husband. I was completely disappointed in myself upon seeing this.

Prior to this test I considered myself extremely considerate of my husband’s feelings, but I had it all wrong. Today was a day of revelation for me. I’m not the amazing wife that I thought I was, but being able to see this and accept that I do have to make some changes, gives me hope.

I’m hopeful that the more I can see my real flaws, the more I can work towards eliminating the behaviors and the erroneous, unconscious beliefs that I have.

Tomorrow will be DAY 2 and I’m really looking forward to my dare.

Short Prayer for revelation:

“Dear Lord,

I come to you and I ask for forgiveness for all of the things that I do and say to my husband that are harsh. Forgive me for not accepting my husband the way you are calling me to accept him. Right now I ask that you help me see my husband with eyes of mercy and acceptance. I declare that each day that I dare to love the way you have called me to love my husband, you will glorify yourself in our marriage, making our bond loving and unbreakable. Thank you for what you will do now and the rest of this week, in Jesus name,

Amen”

I will keep you posted on how the dare goes daily 🙂

I hope that you can join me on this journey as I continue to dare and love like God calls me too. You’re not alone sister! We can do this. #newbreedofwomen

Thank you for reading! God bless you.

Maritza

 

Watch “Short Prayer for Strength” on YouTube

I’ve been so sick all day. Sneezing uncontrollably and I have an awful runny nose.

Days like these I don’t feel like praying.

Days like these I just want to sleep and get rest, but us moms never have a sick day nor days off.

If you’re tired, if you feel weak for whatever reason, you need to pray.

When you feel the weakest is when you have to pray the most.

Watch the video and pray with me today.

You’re not alone sister.

Thank you for reading and watching.

God bless you.

Maritza