Parenting… Why it’s important.

The way you are raised determines who you become. Parenting has a major influence in your character. Our parents’ actions teach us how to deal with situations. Their actions teach us about integrity, about love, on how to speak to others, and how to respond to obstacles, etc.

TO ME parenting is leaves a deep mark in our hearts and soul. Parenting can either lead is to become needy people and lead us to becoming adults that dangerously crave love among other things. Parenting when done well can help children become independent and confident as adults.

Parenting can either propel people to become the best version of themselves or can produce broken adults whom are seeking to constantly recover from their insecurities instilled in childhood.

When I was a child my father never paid attention to me unless he was drunk. My mother did spend time with me, however, most of the time she was preoccupied with house chores that I felt ignored. Therefore, I lacked attention and my need for love from my father grew into a huge whole in my heart. This whole became unbearable and when my teenage years came around I thought that a boyfriend or boyfriends could fill that whole, but I was wrong because IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH. My love tank was always running on empty because I realized that I was giving away more love than what I was receiving. That’s when I turned to drugs and self-medicated.

Back in 2013, when my son was born, I decided to do my research on parenting.

I found that the first thing that I had to do to raise a healthy child and honorable man, the first thing that I had to do was work on myself.

I had to face my wast once again and find out which insecurities were instilled in me by my parents and how to stray away from committing the same mistakes.

Today I look at my parents with eyes of love and mercy because they did not know any better. They did what they could with what they were taught. I also have forgiven the man who abused me because that also instilled in me another load of insecurities, and for the glory of God I have overcome many and continue to overcome others daily.

Keep becoming a better version of yourself, for you and to give your children the opportunity to live a childhood that’s an upgraded version of the one that you lived.

The time is NOW, 2017!

-M

Instagram: @ivmana

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Addictions

What’s funny about addictions is that you do not view them as addictions. In fact, we believe they are just habits or something harmless that we do to relax and or simply because it’s enjoyable.

However, addictions can be extremely harmful and can begin from drinking a few martinis every weekend, to smoking cigarettes on occasion, trying weed for the first time, to having sexual relations with multiple partner, to watching pornography once or twice, among many other things.

My go to comfort was drinking because I enjoyed dwelling in the sensation of carelessness and freedom. So much that it consumed my more than my weekends leading me to consume drugs because the alcohol just wasn’t enough.

I had this immense emptiness that I did not want to recognize. I chose not to recognize the void that I had in my heart. I did not want to admit that I wanted wholeheartedly to be loved. I wanted wholeheartedly to be admired and to feel a sense of belonging.

I fed my emotional hunger with substances and pointless relationships that led nowhere. The truth is that I did not know how to satiate this never ending thirst for more and for a true love.

What I failed to realize is that this thirst was born in childhood.

As a child I yearned to feel loved by my father yet he did not recognize my needs.

This yearning lingered as a grew and never left me. The yearning into emptiness that needed to be filled.

Many people live their lives with this great void that they’re not even aware of which leads them to seek for many avenues pursuing to fill that whole deep in their soul.

This is Part 2 of my story.

Clouded by thoughts of Doubt

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Every day is the same battle for me. Doubt clouds my thoughts. I have doubts of all types and it’s as if DOUBT has taken on human form and is someone that I seem to be trying to fight off every day. I’m a stay at home mom to a 2 year old boy and the two roles of being a wife and a mom keep me plenty busy. In addition to that I also attending school online which can be time consuming and keep me busy as well.

But then there are those moments that I find myself thinking about how my life has turned out. These moments consume me and for some reason they always happen when I’m driving and when I take my son to the park. At times I feel that as a stay at home mom I’m investing time in the most important job in the world which is being a mother to a boy whom will later be an active member of society, but other times I feel so unproductive all because I don’t work outside my home at an actual job. I question my purpose in life, I compare my successes to others, and I feel like mine don’t amount to much because my job as a stay at home mom does not produce an actual income.

All of these encounters with Doubt leave me exhausted and unhappy, leading me to question my abilities and talents. I question whether or not what I have to say matters. I love writing and speaking to others about Jesus, His love and what God has done in my life. Deep inside I know that my purpose is linked to speaking to the youth & young adults about God, but I experience too many moments where I doubt this purpose. I doubt whether God uses me when I speak, I doubt God’s purpose for my career. Mostly, I feel a burning desire to be that successful business woman that I always see hidden within me, but the doubt seems to always win over the thoughts of faith and belief.

I feel like I’m torn in half between faith and self-doubt.

To be continued….

I pray, but God doesn’t respond…

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I have moments of frustration. Moments when I pray and worship and although I feel at peace I’m left hoping to finally receive the answer I’m looking for or atleast a sign. This hope turns into impatience and frustration as I face the same issues day after day, week after week and still I see no change or miracle to my circumstances. God revealed something powerful to me this week. He showed me how he is always in control and always present although it might not seem like it and its because he allows us to go through moments of silence that he is trying to show us the side of him that is not only the provider of changes & miracles, but rather a father that comforts us and gives us peace through any storm or dry period in our walk with him. I’ve decided to sit back and although I feel pain I will dwell in his presence by seeking for him through prayer and worship.

A World of Mannequins

We are living in times where we are simply mirroring the actions, behaviors and even the appearance of the people we see. We are copies of each other. This mirroring affect that we are all engaging into is driven by envy, a desire to be accepted or the need for attention. These are all derivatives of needs that we are trying so hard to fulfill, but in the end it will never be enough.

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Some of us feel so invisible that we may feel the need to make ourselves visible through social media by creating this overall image of ourselves that we would like people to see because we might consider such portraits attention worthy. As a result, this feeds our ego and mildly satiates our need to be applauded, admired or just simply noticed by others.

The purpose of mannequins is to project an image that will arouse in us the desire to possess that, that is being projected whether it be a style, lifestyle or in some cases it can mean the desire to possess wealth. We are all mannequins trying to project an enticing image to be viewed by all, to be accepted, envied and followed.

What we should be focusing on is embracing our differences, our talents and developing new skills to become the best version of ourselves. We need to become extraordinary people worthy of being admired because of the knowledge and wisdom that we have acquired through our experiences.

I urge you to walk your path, live the best life that you can live, invest time in what you are passionate about, learn from your experiences and embrace your flaws.

Someone needs to hear what you have been through. Someone out there needs to hear what you have to say. Someone will be encouraged by your wisdom. Today you can help someone else overcome an obstacle. Today you can impact someone’s life through all the love that you have to give. Today someone needs your talent to be elevated onto another level of success. Be people that mirror a unique image different from those around you because only then will you be a distinguished and admirable person that will be easily followed.

Be that fresh unique image of inspiration that someone needs today.

Dating, Marriage and Divorce – Cycle

Look around and count how many successful marriages you know. Sadly, that number is low.

When we date we are driven by the feelings and emotions as well as the rush of being with someone who is new to us, but we expect that these feelings will last. Then somehow, if we seem not to feel this surge of emotions flowing in us anymore, we assume that there is no love in the relationship, so it’s part. It’s then when we start all over again hunting for the next special someone that can provide us with those same lustful and passionate feelings to then find out later that those too were temporary.

We shouldn’t base love to a feeling, but rather to a decision especially when considering marriage. If you enter the world of marriage thinking that you will live happily ever after with strong feelings all throughout your marriage, you are kidding yourself. Marriage takes so many twists and turns, and you MUST decide to love your partner beyond situations, feelings and circumstances.

I myself have experienced moments where I do not “FEEL” love for my husband, but yet I decide to love him by honoring him with respect, loyalty, support and faithfulness. Now, that my friends is what I have learned to identify as love. It’s deciding to be there for your partner beyond your own emotions. Many people might disagree, but it is so much easier to follow a protocol that has already been set than setting your own boundaries and expectations on how we think we should love another person and what love means to us.

By protocol I’m referring to God. God has provided us with the recipe for a prosperous relationship and marriage all in the Holy Bible in Corinthians 13. It is when we fail to follow this recipe that we end up cooking a whole different meal than the one we intended to cook, simply because we decided to skip certain steps and add our own ingredients. That’s when dating becomes a parade of men and women, commitments are none existent, divorce knocks on our door, children come from broken homes and everyone pretends to live happy lives. Yet, inside we feel regret, a sense of loss, sadness, guilt, doubt and you can fill in the lines here.

My greatest wish for everyone is that they can experience a true, God given relationship and marriage so that less children experience the devastation of a broken home, men and women can experience true love and so that we may come face to face with the reality that Jesus is alive and will work in our lives if we choose to have a relationship with Him by following His guidance for us. Start, through a conversational prayer to God and read the bible daily, with the purpose of getting to know God and learn about the many ways that He loves you. Start a relationship with your Creator and you will understand who you are and your purpose in life through His manual known as the bible. There you will find the best recipe to cook up the best life you could ever live here on earth.

Blessings,

M

A World that knows NO Boundaries — Part 1

We are living in times where boundaries do not exist in every aspect of our lives. Women dress extremely provocatively, revealing too much of their breasts or bottom parts and yet what’s funny is that these women demand respect when they are sending the wrong message. Nowadays, self-respect has been lost and I believe that women are as bad as men in regards to how many people they have slept with by the age of 20. There are no rules and our world is promoting, “party all the time and who cares about anything” type of attitude through media, music and celebrities and of course the youth and people in general follow this movement not knowing that the end results of living a life with lack of self-control will be harmful in the end.

I saw something the other day that was very devastating and filled my heart with sadness. Now, before I talk about what made me sad let me first start by clarifying that I love gay people. I have been always surrounded by gays throughout my dancing and colorguard years and on top of that I have a gay family member and I love him dearly. I have absolutely nothing against people who choose to be gay, and quite frankly I think they are the most fun and colorful people to be around. Yes, I was once a major fag hag lol. In fact, I had my gay moments and within those moments I discovered the most alarming fact, that being a gay is more than a decision it is actually a lifestyle that is chosen by many for different reasons.

Now, as I was first saying, the information that I saw that caused such sadness in me was the fact that Florida is now legally authorizing gay marriages. I’m happy that gay people feel happy, however, I’m sad at the fact that this is not the type of lifestyle that my Father in Heaven created and He didn’t mean for us to live this way. Anatomy says this pretty clearly. I apologize for the next few graphic pointers, but I want to speak truth into this generation. God created a man with a penis in the frontal part of his body and a women with a vagina also in the frontal area so that they could perfectly connect in real intimacy and may have sex the way God meant it to be. Sorry, but the anus was only created for one function and one function only and that is to exert something known as crap. Nothing is meant to go in there, instead that part of the body was created to release our bodies’s waste.

Have I lied about anything so far? No. Like, I tell everyone do your research. I’m not writing this to hurt anyone and please know that it is not my intention. As a matter of fact I write this so that eyes may be opened and ears may hear truth being spoken.

This generation is blind to many evil realities and my goal is to unveil these realities for the sole purpose of guiding people to the gospel of Jesus. I was once living a very dark lifestyle and I preach because I came out of it and realized a true that there is a God and I have someone that loves me beyond my flaws and that someone is Jesus. Stop trying to reinvent the wheel by creating your own lifestyles and live out the life that God has already planned for you, for His plan is that of complete fulfillment while your plan is flawed and will always leave you with a small void deep inside. You know what I’m talking about.

It’s time to turn to Christ and I’m coming for each and everyone of you with the gospel.

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Look at her, she’s perfect….

Look at her, she’s perfect…

This is what I hear often while I’m walking at the mall or as I pass by young girls at Starbucks. This type of phrase means everything nowadays. It actually holds much meaning in how most young girls are trying to meet the beauty standards of the world instead of embracing and discovering their own beauty.

We are living in a selfie generation where the center focus is image and what is in high pursuit is attention. If you take a look at every Instagram account of both women and men, almost all poses and pictures look the same and it’s because everyone tries to resemble or imitate what they see as acceptable and eye catching. Truth is that the more we concentrate on others, the more of their beauty we see and the more we disqualify ourselves. We begin to criticize ourselves and measure our beauty according to the beauty in others and this is where the problem lies.

It’s time to set yourself aside, put down your phone and evaluate yourself. Discovering the beauty in you should your pursuit to build on your self-esteem. The more you try to be like someone else the more frustrated you will become because you are spending all your energy in trying to fit a mold other than your own. Concentrate on you, discover what makes you feel beautiful and cultivate yourself with all the things that you aspire to be.

Never try to be the woman of a man’s dreams, be the woman of your dreams.

Dream big and embrace who you are. You are special.

@bondedtotherock