WORDS UNSPOKEN

Our sex journey begins the moment we identify the differences between the male and the female body. As children, our body parts become this secretive subject that we never speak about. And that’s when curiosity takes over.

Personally, no one ever spoke to me about my private parts nor did I ever have the sex talk. And the fact that I endured sexual abuse at a really young age only made matters worse. I remember little old me staring at the mirror and analyzing myself, not being able to shake off the feeling of awkwardness.

There was also this cloud of shame and guilt that were tied to anything related to the topic of sex and body image, and I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it go away. My view on sexual embrace was negative and as a teenager, it complicated things because I felt pressured. And as we all know, sex is expected in boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. So, I had to give in, right? Or so I thought.

I believed the LIE that I had to have sex if I wanted a boyfriend

Sex took a new meaning when I became a young adult. The act itself became so normal that it was meaningless.

The world teaches us this:

Date around. Have boyfriend. Have sex. Make the relationship work. And if it doesn’t, move onto the next one. Repeat the cycle until you find your ONE.

Only to find out that by the time you find “the” guy, you’ve already slept around with over 5 guys or more.

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A Shift in Perspective

When I began to follow my faith as a Christian, I learned a lot about sex. Two truths transformed my perspective and helped me view sex through a healthy and pure lens.

  1. God created sex to be the consummation of love between a man and a woman in a marriage.
  2. Genesis 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” God never meant sex and our bodies to be a source of shame. God designed sex for us to enjoy with our spouse because He knew what we, as human beings, choose to ignore— when we have sex with multiple sex partners we become desensitized by sex, sex becomes meaningless, we become frigid, selfish and we fall into the comparison trap. These bullies rob us of the beauty, pureness and wonder that sex can truly be.

The problem with our society is that it’s full of depravity. Sex has taken the form of promiscuity, porn and sexualization of everything around us.

Why is this topic important?

There are many young girls walking around believing that they need to have sex. There is a cultural pressure to engage in sex. And those are the same girls that are walking around with negative views on sex and they go into marriage where many issues are developed surrounding the topic of sex. For males, we live in a culture where being a man is measured by how many sexual encounters a man has. This is a lie that all of our young boys believe.

Time to Educate & be Educated

Our families and our children need to adopt healthy perspectives on sex. This requires conversations. We need to talk about it more.

It’s time to educate ourselves through the word of God. We need to do our own research and understand God’s design for sex. We need to spend time in retrospect and dig for the hidden and buried views that we have about sex.

Go back to when you were a child and first experienced curiosity about your body. Travel back in time when you first discovered what sex was. Write down what you thought and what you witnessed because those first ideas and images, relating to sex and one’s body, marked your overall beliefs and perspectives on the topic.

It’s important that we help our children learn about their bodies in a shame free environment. We need to affirm them in that they are beautiful, that their bodies are a temple, and should be guarded. Let’s make their first discoveries about sex pleasant and link them to positive notions. Because it’s time to raise a generation that won’t spend their time recovering, but rather thriving.

Let’s set the best example and work towards change.

Together we can cause a shift in this generation by raising a new breed of kids. It starts with us. Women, we need to change the game. We need to stop being so accessible. We need to surrender to God. It’s time to view sex through a clean lens.

It’s time to become, “A New Breed of Women.”


Read more about sex and how we are desensitizing children.

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Sex Culture: Desensitizing Children

The other day while I was on YouTube I watched an interview between a psychologist and a sex-trafficker and what he said was mind blowing to me.

Sex Trafficker said:

“Society is doing the grooming for us. Too many girls are walking around with low self-esteem and they are already portraying themselves as sex symbols. It’s too easy”

It’s true. We are living in the midst of a culture where everything is over sexualized.

“Global grooming is taking place”

  • Children are being raised in broken homes which brings about identity and security issues.
  • Little girls are being dressed with clothing that they should not be wearing.
  • Moms are not being an example of dignity and modesty. It’s quite the opposite.
  • Single moms parade their different relationships in front of her kids not realizing that she is setting the wrong example for her little children.

Not enough fathers take their role seriously. They don’t realize that to little girls their daddy’s words are life. If daddy is present and speaks words of life onto his daughter that daughter will grow to have massive confidence and won’t need to find it in other men. If daddy values his daughter, that little girl will not grow up to be this desperate young girl seeking attention from men.

I’ve realized that many women will read this and not care. Not every woman cares about their children or the next generation as they say they do.

Not many moms care about what their daughters future’s looks like at the hands of different men. Not many people think about the consequences of promiscuity and what such example can cause to the next generation.

Many women are self-fish. Many women choose to fulfill their own sexual desires and in the process they end up parading different of men in front of her kids. These types of women don’t care about setting the right example for their daughters and young boys. Children are being exposed to sex at an earlier age through subliminal porn found at home, in social media as well as in our world around us. Game apps have pop-ups of cartoon women dressed half-naked and this is being flaunted to our children 24/7.

We must raise a generation of respectful young ladies and gentlemen.

We must change and be different.

We need to bring chivalry back, but that starts with us, WOMEN.

Christian Marriage: Truth Part 1

We are in the car, my husband is driving and the kids are fast asleep. I’m looking out the window thinking about all the things that I want to achieve this year. My thoughts were interrupted by the redundant music that my husband kept playing.

At that moment I noticed three things.

  • Song after song, they all had something in common. They were “reaggaeton songs. Although I like certain songs in this genre, “sex” tends to be the central theme. And it’s not like these men are rapping about making love to their lovely wives lol These songs portray women as mere sex objects. The lyrics are degrading towards women.
  • As the songs continued on and my husband kept driving, I also noticed he has become comfortable with cursing again.
  • The cursing came out so naturally as he yelled at the car that cut him off, but in that moment I noticed the third flaw that kind of scared me. There was rage in his voice. Not anger, but rage. There is a huge difference between the two.

Now, this might seem silly to many of you reading this. It might even be normal to many of you, but to us, this is definitely not our norm. It’s quite disappointing. It’s almost like taking a step backwards.

There was a point in time when cursing and not caring about what I listened to, was normal. But that’s not the case anymore. Getting to know God and God’s heart throughout my spiritual journey has changed me inside out. I now see that what we listen to affects the way we think and it influences our behavior. How we speak reflects the condition of our spirit and our heart. That being said, being a woman of faith has really changed me and it’s placed me on this spiritual journey where all I want to pursue is to be the woman that God has called me to be. So to hear my husband curse was a bit of an unpleasant surprise. To hear him listen to sex music back to back, saddened me for many reasons.

All of this is troubling because if you look on the surface his choice of music, his language and his behavior is an indication of what’s going on in his heart. For me to see different and negative changes is worrisome.

A year ago God showed me that what we choose as form of entertainment traps us. The word entertainment is composed of two words. Enter and detain. So when you are being entertained, whatever it is that is entertaining you, enters you and detains. Detainment can cause you to remain in a negative state of mind which will influence your behavior. So, we need to be careful with what we choose as form of entertainment. For it will detain us and begin pricking at our mind. 

As a christian wife who is constantly seeking for ways to be renewed by God, it’s so easy to lose hope in believing that God can renew my husband’s mind and change even the smallest of character flaws. The renewal of his heart seems impossible to me. The other reason why this is an impossible to me because this just adds to the list of things that he  already has to work on. That being said, Christian marriages are not perfect, but we have assurance that God is working in us and through us.

I share this in hopes that if you’re a Christian wife and you’re husband is negatively changing or diverting back to his old ways…

It’s time to pray. It’s time to believe the impossible.

It’s time to intercede. It’s time to ask God to bring to the light any problems that may be hidden. It’s not time to lose hope in our husbands, but rather place our hope in the Lord. It’s easier said then done, but we have to fight for our marriages.

It’s time to believe in God and the condition of man.

“God wants us to love the unlovable”

God isn’t done with your journey! You’re standing in the middle of your greatest testimony which means that their is an end to this process. Your pain is not in vain. Keep praying and keep seeking. God is with you!

Thank you for reading. God bless.

Maritza


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Sex & Human Trafficking: Global Issue

Every two minutes women and children are being sexually exploited, abused and used as a means for making a profit.

It’s time that we decide to face this issue because it’s a huge injustice that needs our attention. We need to protect the lives of our children and stand up to speak for those who do not have a voice. It’s time to stand up for those women and children that are forced to remain quiet and imprisoned.

It’s time to support movements such as @stoppingtrafficfilm

Here in Miami at Sunset Place AMC there is a film premiering on Friday September 29, 2017 that educates on the ins and outs of human trafficking.

Watch trailer now! Stopping Traffic: The Film

The numbers are extremely high, and with such high numbers it can be hard to believe that we can influence change, BUT change can take place if we can choose to change the way we think. We need to make a decision to look within ourselves and accept our flaws. People want to help abolish sex and human trafficking, but they do not want to stop watching porn or supporting the sex industry via attending strip clubs etc. There is a demand in this industry and this demand is what needs to be eradicated.

Sex trafficking is about control. Men and women traffickers want to control others. Traffickers are also controlled and driven by disturbing desires. Whether Some are influenced by their love of money or their need to possess control over another human being it isn’t right.

There is nothing attractive or desirable about exploiting women and children. The type of people who do this are mentally ill and lack empathy for humanity.

There is nothing sexy nor sensual about children. Children are beautiful human beings who deserve to live out their childhoods exploring, playing, discovering life and the world around them. They should not have to live lives suppressing their emotions, battling the pain that comes with being abused, nor should they face an internal war with their identity. Children should not be put in a position of living in survival mode. This matter needs our attention.

Are you ready to be part of the solution or will you just sit back and watch as this issue spirals out of control and reaches those closest to you? You could be the next victim, the teenagers around us can be the next victims, anyone can be next? Are you ready to help with this issue?

If you live in Miami come out and support the fight against human trafficking by watching the film Stopping Traffic: The Film

Lets get educated and educate others on this global issue!

Thank you for reading and God bless you!

Addictions

What’s funny about addictions is that you do not view them as addictions. In fact, we believe they are just habits or something harmless that we do to relax and or simply because it’s enjoyable.

However, addictions can be extremely harmful and can begin from drinking a few martinis every weekend, to smoking cigarettes on occasion, trying weed for the first time, to having sexual relations with multiple partner, to watching pornography once or twice, among many other things.

My go to comfort was drinking because I enjoyed dwelling in the sensation of carelessness and freedom. So much that it consumed my more than my weekends leading me to consume drugs because the alcohol just wasn’t enough.

I had this immense emptiness that I did not want to recognize. I chose not to recognize the void that I had in my heart. I did not want to admit that I wanted wholeheartedly to be loved. I wanted wholeheartedly to be admired and to feel a sense of belonging.

I fed my emotional hunger with substances and pointless relationships that led nowhere. The truth is that I did not know how to satiate this never ending thirst for more and for a true love.

What I failed to realize is that this thirst was born in childhood.

As a child I yearned to feel loved by my father yet he did not recognize my needs.

This yearning lingered as a grew and never left me. The yearning into emptiness that needed to be filled.

Many people live their lives with this great void that they’re not even aware of which leads them to seek for many avenues pursuing to fill that whole deep in their soul.

This is Part 2 of my story.

Clouded by thoughts of Doubt

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Every day is the same battle for me. Doubt clouds my thoughts. I have doubts of all types and it’s as if DOUBT has taken on human form and is someone that I seem to be trying to fight off every day. I’m a stay at home mom to a 2 year old boy and the two roles of being a wife and a mom keep me plenty busy. In addition to that I also attending school online which can be time consuming and keep me busy as well.

But then there are those moments that I find myself thinking about how my life has turned out. These moments consume me and for some reason they always happen when I’m driving and when I take my son to the park. At times I feel that as a stay at home mom I’m investing time in the most important job in the world which is being a mother to a boy whom will later be an active member of society, but other times I feel so unproductive all because I don’t work outside my home at an actual job. I question my purpose in life, I compare my successes to others, and I feel like mine don’t amount to much because my job as a stay at home mom does not produce an actual income.

All of these encounters with Doubt leave me exhausted and unhappy, leading me to question my abilities and talents. I question whether or not what I have to say matters. I love writing and speaking to others about Jesus, His love and what God has done in my life. Deep inside I know that my purpose is linked to speaking to the youth & young adults about God, but I experience too many moments where I doubt this purpose. I doubt whether God uses me when I speak, I doubt God’s purpose for my career. Mostly, I feel a burning desire to be that successful business woman that I always see hidden within me, but the doubt seems to always win over the thoughts of faith and belief.

I feel like I’m torn in half between faith and self-doubt.

To be continued….

I pray, but God doesn’t respond…

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I have moments of frustration. Moments when I pray and worship and although I feel at peace I’m left hoping to finally receive the answer I’m looking for or atleast a sign. This hope turns into impatience and frustration as I face the same issues day after day, week after week and still I see no change or miracle to my circumstances. God revealed something powerful to me this week. He showed me how he is always in control and always present although it might not seem like it and its because he allows us to go through moments of silence that he is trying to show us the side of him that is not only the provider of changes & miracles, but rather a father that comforts us and gives us peace through any storm or dry period in our walk with him. I’ve decided to sit back and although I feel pain I will dwell in his presence by seeking for him through prayer and worship.

Women today seek to stimulate men and attract attention to themselves via their sensuality…

More and more I see women becoming shrines that symbolize lust, sensuality and an intense need to be provocative to all men. This is not a demonstration of strength, instead it shows how weak we are to surrender to the inner need for attention and the need to show the world our bodies. Women feel the need to flaunt beauty in a sensual form and this is far from what we should be doing.

Beauty is not a certain body type and it’s certainly not sensuality. Beauty is the way we carry ourselves with poise and elegance. Beauty is loving others and being helpful to those in need. Beauty is also being compassionate and always serving as an open ear to hear out those who are hurting. True beauty is loving yourself enough not to, practically, beg for attention through vulgar pictures of your most intimate parts that should be reserved specifically for your husband. That is beauty.

Beauty is being reserved, slow to speak and kind. This is not what the world tells us. All around we find women parading themselves as an attractive toy waiting to be used by men.

I do not know about you, but deep in my heart I desire to be loved by one man, who honors me, admires me and respects me in every way. Women are expecting this, but they send the wrong message with the way they present themselves.

It’s time that the eyes of women be opened to the reality that to be weak is to give in to your lustful desires, but to remain still and know what you are worth, is to go against the current of women who are like sensual shrines seeking desperately for attention. If only they would know that the less clothes they wear and the more skin they show, the more they scream out to the world their internal need for attention and acceptance.

We need to raise an army of women that believe in honor, respect for themselves and for all the husbands that are out there.

“By remaining and dressing in a conservative manner I’m not only reserving myself for my husband, in fact I’m honoring myself, my husband, and I’m also helping married and single men from committing adultery and pursuing lustful thoughts with my body”

God bless those women who seek for the Lord, who stand for purity and honor.