Our Parenting Culture Sucks!

As I put my kids to bed I began to reflect on how my day went and as always, I ask myself one question at the end of the day, “Did I make my son feel visible?”

I guess this is important because when I was a little girl I felt invisible. For the most part my mom was always consumed with all the house chores. I mean who can blame her, the lady had to get it done and I understand that, but somehow, I would have preferred to live in a messy home in exchange for memories and moments of engagement.

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Focus in on innocence

My thoughts continued to evolve and as I stood there watching my children sleep soundlessly. Their innocence represents an inexplicable beauty. I can’t help but think about the children who take the unleashing of their parent’s frustrations. I couldn’t help but think of the children that feel sad and alone.

Why is that we use our children as emotional punching bags?

Children are treated unfairly.

We acknowledge their vulnerability and we abuse our authority.

We force, push and shove our children as if they were objects and not people.

No one should be coerced, pushed, shoved or mistreated, so why do we do it to the most vulnerable, our own kiddies.

Bullies detect the most vulnerable target before they engage in bullying. Sadly, parents can be undetected bullies.

Our Culture

Today I remembered the few times that I yelled at my son for not using the toilet when he had just turned two. I remember the one time that I yelled at him for not wanting to sleep in his own bed. I remember those moments so clearly because those were the moments that God spoke to me the most.

As parents we need to be conscious that every child is different. Children should experience the world and develop at their own pace and not at the pace we choose for them.

Children have the right to experience and discover life, fear-free

We forget or don’t realize the things we do or how we act towards our children because our main concern is to mimic what other parents accomplish with their children.

Parenting is not a competition it’s a learning experience. An experience that should take its course and not be rushed.

Sleeping with our kids

Society tells us that we need to force our kids to sleep by themselves as soon as they are born. This belief is screwed up. Babies need to feel mom constantly especially after being born and having been in the womb for nine months.

People want to forcefully, make babies adapt to cribs and regulated sleeping habits and other nonsense, as if they were robots. This is ridiculous. Babies should be nurtured and it’s us who need to accommodate ourselves to our little ones.

We need to develop patience

There is no such thing as spoiling a baby with too much love, or too many hugs or holding onto them for long periods of time.

These are broken beliefs. Babies need security and the warmth of our arms.

Children need love and affection, and most of all, empathy.

Our toddlers need all the love we have to offer along with firm and loving discipline.

As I look at my four-year-old and my five-month-old baby sleeping in my bed, I think to myself, how wonderful they must feel to fall asleep with mommy and daddy. How secure they must feel knowing that they are accepted and not rejected.

Children grow and there comes a time when the tables turn. They will be doing all the rejecting while we’re the ones seeking for their attention and engagement.

Change

Let’s change this culture by changing our broken beliefs. You and I can change the world by renewing our minds, becoming conscious of our actions, and raise children who are loved, accepted and empowered.

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Sex Culture: Desensitizing Children

The other day while I was on YouTube I watched an interview between a psychologist and a sex-trafficker and what he said was mind blowing to me.

Sex Trafficker said:

“Society is doing the grooming for us. Too many girls are walking around with low self-esteem and they are already portraying themselves as sex symbols. It’s too easy”

It’s true. We are living in the midst of a culture where everything is over sexualized.

“Global grooming is taking place”

  • Children are being raised in broken homes which brings about identity and security issues.
  • Little girls are being dressed with clothing that they should not be wearing.
  • Moms are not being an example of dignity and modesty. It’s quite the opposite.
  • Single moms parade their different relationships in front of her kids not realizing that she is setting the wrong example for her little children.

Not enough fathers take their role seriously. They don’t realize that to little girls their daddy’s words are life. If daddy is present and speaks words of life onto his daughter that daughter will grow to have massive confidence and won’t need to find it in other men. If daddy values his daughter, that little girl will not grow up to be this desperate young girl seeking attention from men.

I’ve realized that many women will read this and not care. Not every woman cares about their children or the next generation as they say they do.

Not many moms care about what their daughters future’s looks like at the hands of different men. Not many people think about the consequences of promiscuity and what such example can cause to the next generation.

Many women are self-fish. Many women choose to fulfill their own sexual desires and in the process they end up parading different of men in front of her kids. These types of women don’t care about setting the right example for their daughters and young boys. Children are being exposed to sex at an earlier age through subliminal porn found at home, in social media as well as in our world around us. Game apps have pop-ups of cartoon women dressed half-naked and this is being flaunted to our children 24/7.

We must raise a generation of respectful young ladies and gentlemen.

We must change and be different.

We need to bring chivalry back, but that starts with us, WOMEN.